dreamattack | a dialogue in pictures

from in the shadow she calls
and in the shadow she
finds a way finds a way
and in the shadow she CRAWLS
clutching her faded photograph
my IMAGE under her thumb
yes with a message for my heart
yes with a message for my heart

she’s been everybody else’s girl
maybe one day she’ll be her own
everybody else’s girl
maybe one day she’ll be her own

and in the doorway they stay
and laugh as violins fill with water
screams from the BLUEBELLS
can’t make them go away
we’ll i’m not seventeen
but i’ve cuts on my knees
falling down as the winter
takes one more CHERRY TREE

she’s been everybody else’s girl
maybe one day she’ll be her own
everybody else’s girl
maybe one day she’ll be her own

everyone else’s girl
maybe one day she’ll be her own
everyone else’s girl
maybe one day she’ll be her own
everyone else’s girl
maybe one day maybe one day
one day she’ll be her own
(rushin’ rivers
thread so thin limitation
dreams with the flying pigs
turbid blue and the drugstores too safe in
their coats anda in their do’s yeah
smother in our hearts
a pillow to my dots

and in the mist there she rides
and castles are burning in my heart
and as i twist i hold tight
and i ride to work
every morning wondering why
“sit in the chair and be good now”
and become all that they told you
the white coats enter her room
and i’m callin’ my baby
callin’ my baby callin’ my baby callin’
everybody else’s girl

everybody else’s girl
maybe one day she’ll be her own
everybody else’s girl
maybe one day she’ll be her own

girl / tori amos

what do I live for ?
a sense of joy that sometimes makes it
all worth fighting for

lovely as the wind
that takes my breath and breathes it in…

oh no.. not again
did I really fuck it up again ?
it seemed so close this time
got tangled up…got
caught inside.

I tried to explain
the peaceful life I thought I wanted
gentle as the rain
that falls on us from every corner
lovely as the clouds
that make me ache and cry out loud

oh no.. not again
did I really fuck it up again ?
it seemed so close this time
got tangled up…got
caught inside

tangled up / cranes

it’s colder than before
the seasons took all they had come for
now winter dances here
it seems so fitting don’t you think?
dress the ground in white
and grey

it’s so quiet I can hear
my thoughts touching every second I spent
waiting for you
circumstances affords me
no second chance
to tell you
how much I’ve missed you

my beloved do you know
when the warm wind comes again
another year will start to pass
and please don’t ask me why I’m here
something deeper brought me
that I need to remember

we were once young and blessed with wings
no heights could keeps us from their reach
no sacred place we did not soar
still greater things burned within us
I don’t regret the choices that I’ve made
I know you feel the same

my beloved do you know
how many times I stared at clouds
thinking that I saw you there
these are feelings that do not pass so easily
I can’t forget what we claimed was ours

moments lost though time remains
I am so proud of what we were
no pain remains
no feeling
eternity awaits
grant me wings that I might fly
my restless soul is longing
no pain remains
no feeling
eternity awaits

moments lost though time remains
I am so proud of what we were
no pain remains
no feeling
eternity awaits
grant me wings that I might fly
my restless soul is longing
no pain remains
no feeling

eternity awaits

beloved / vnv nation

the crippled soul divides
and the scars of years fly away
like confetti on the desert wind

phoenix rises
proud young wings reflecting amber
solitary
untouchable
excited
ready to search for his rose

but the flight lasted so long
and those powerful wings grew weary
as he padded through blind alleys
swooped open-eyed into blind curves
and wasted night
after lonely night
trying to drink from a mirage

but no distraction could decimate
the totality of his belief
and his number came up
just when the weight of his despair
had pinned him to a rock
when the feathers of his wings
had been shed
and he stood naked
before a disapassionate audience of grey faces

his precious twin
his rose
Isolde dancing alone
then multiplying
inviting
many many levels

and the crippled soul unites and prepares
for the long, long journey home

with wings / tear garden

since I met you
this small town hasn’t got room
for my big feelings

violently happy
‘cause i love you
violently happy
but you’re not here
violently happy
come calm me down
before I get into trouble

I tip-toe down to the shore
stand by the ocean
make it roar at me
and I roar back.

violently happy
‘cause I love you
violently happy
but you’re not here
violently happy
overemotional
violently happy
I’ll get into trouble
real soon
if you don’t get here
baby.

violently happy
‘cause I love you
violently happy
I’m aiming too high
violently happy
it will get me into trouble
violently happy
I’m driving my car
too fast
with ecstatic music on.

violently happy
I’m getting too drunk
violently happy
I’m daring people
to jump off roofs with me
only you
can calm me down
I’m aiming too high
soothe me

violently happy / bjork

the most perfect silence is
when there is no need to speak
the most perfect silence is
when there’s no need to explain

the most perfect moment is
when we just come from different circumstances
but the stream of lust flows into the same direction

the most perfect silence is
when there’s no need of showing something
is true when you see the same pictures
from another point of view

when there’s no need to search the outside
no need to linger on
not a single something left to distract you
no need to want

don’t you see how I long
how I long for that moment to come?

the most perfect silence is
when there’s no need to speak
the most perfect silence is
when there’s no need to explain

when there’s no need to search the outside
no need to linger on
not a single something left to distract you
no need to want

don’t you see how I long
how I long for that moment to come?

the most perfect silence / blank & jones

I never thought of this as funny
it speaks another world to me
I wanna be your easter bunny
I wanna be your christmas tree

I’ll strip the world that you must live in
of all it’s godforsaken greed
I’ll ply the tar out of your feathers
I’ll pluck the thorns out of your feet

you and me
you and me
you and me
and if I choose your sanctuary
I’ll want to wash you with my hair
I’ll want to drink of sacred fountains
and find the riches hidden there

I’ll eat the lotus and peyote
I’ll want to hear the caged-bird sing
I’ll want the secrets of the temple
I’ll want the finger with the ring

you and me
you and me
you and me

and if you make me your religion
I’ll give you all you will need
I’ll be the drawing of your breath
I’ll be the cup if you should bleed
I’ll be the sky above the Ganges
I’ll be the vast and stormy sea
I’ll be the lights that guide you inland
I’ll be the visions you will see
the visions you will see
you will see
you will see

you and me
you and me
you and me
you and me
you and me
you and me

be mine / r.e.m.

as the sun comes up, as the moon
goes down
these heavy notions creep around
it makes me think
long ago I was brought into
this life a little lamb
a little lamb
courageous, stumbling
fearless was my middle name.
but somewhere there I
lost my way
everyone walks the same
expecting me to step
the narrow path they’ve laid
they claim to
walk unafraid
I’ll be clumsy instead
hold my love me or leave me
high.

say ‘keep within the boundaries if you want
to play.’
say ‘contradiction only makes it harder.’
how can I be
what I want to be?
when all I want to do is strip away
these stilled constraints

and crush this charade
shred this sad masquerade
I don’t need no persuading
I’ll trip, fall, pick myself up and
walk unafraid
I’ll be clumsy instead
hold my love me or leave me
high.

if I have a bag of rocks to carry as I go
I just want to hold my head up high
I don’t care what I have to step over
I’m prepared to look you in the eye
look me in the eye
and if you see familiarity
then celebrate the contradiction
help me when I fall to
walk unafraid
I’ll be clumsy instead
hold my love me or leave me
high.
walk unafraid
I’ll be clumsy instead
hold my love me or leave me
high.

walk unafraid / r.e.m.

you only see what your eyes want to see
how can life be what you want it to be
you’re frozen
when your heart’s not open

you’re so consumed with how much you get
you waste your time with hate and regret
you’re broken
when your heart’s not open

mmmmmm, if I could melt your heart
mmmmmm, we’d never be apart
mmmmmm, give yourself to me
mmmmmm, you hold the key

now there’s no point in placing the blame
and you should know I suffer the same
if I lose you
my heart will be broken

love is a bird, she needs to fly
let all the hurt inside of you die
you’re frozen
when your heart’s not open

if I could melt your heart …

frozen / madonna

you’re going to reap just what you sow …
you’re going to reap just what you sow …
you’re going to reap just what you sow …
you’re going to reap just what you sow …
you’re going to reap just what you sow …
you’re going to reap just what you sow …
you’re going to reap just what you sow …

your place or mine?

A Crazed Girl

That crazed girl improvising her music.
Her poetry, dancing upon the shore,
Her soul in division from itself
Climbing, falling She knew not where,
Hiding amid the cargo of a steamship,
Her knee-cap broken, that girl I declare
A beautiful lofty thing, or a thing
Heroically lost, heroically found.

No matter what disaster occurred
She stood in desperate music wound,
Wound, wound, and she made in her triumph
Where the bales and the baskets lay
No common intelligible sound
But sang, ‘O sea-starved, hungry sea.’

– William Butler Yeats

your heart is not open so I must go
the spell has been broken?I loved you so
freedom comes when you learn to let go
creation comes when you learn to say no

you were my lesson I had to learn
I was your fortress you had to burn
pain is a warning that something’s wrong
I pray to God that it won’t be long
do you wanna go higher

there’s nothing left to try
there’s no place left to hide
there’s no greater power than the power of good-bye

your heart is not open so I must go
the spell has been broken?I loved you so
you were my lesson I had to learn
I was your fortress

there’s nothing left to lose
there’s no more heart to bruise
there’s no greater power than the power of good-bye

learn to say good-bye
I yearn to say good-bye

the power of goodbye / madonna

“Making a new start, starting from fresh in the rain, ‘Why should anyone want to hurt my little heart, my feet, my little hands, my skin that I’m wrapt in because God wants me warm and Inside, my toes–why did God make all this so decayable and dieable and harmable and wants to make me realize and scream–why the wild ground and bodies bare and breaks–I quaked when the giver creamed, when my father screamed, my mother dreamed—I started small and ballooned up and now I’m big and a naked child again and only to cry and fear. - Ah - Protect yourself, angel of no harm, you who’ve never and could never harm and crack another innocent in its shell and thin veiled pain - wrap a robe around you, honeylamb - protect yourself from harm and wait, till Daddy comes again, and Mama throws you warm inside her valley of the moon, loom at the loom of patient time, be happy in the mornings.’”

Jack Kerouac, from The Subterraneans

good day, San Diego.

oh look, someone fancies herself a photographer, too. those artists, always out arting around.

she was a january girl
she never let on how insane it was
in that tiny kinda scary house
by the woods
by the woods
by the woods
black-dove black-dove
you’re not a helicopter
you’re not a cop out either
black-dove black-dove
you don’t need a space ship
they don’t know you’ve already lived
on the other side of the galaxy
she had a january world
so many storms not right somehow
how a lion becomes a mouse
by the woods
but i have to get to TEXAS
said i have to get to TEXAS
and I’ll give away my blue blue dress
she had a january girl
she never let on how insane it was
in that tiny kinda scary house
by the woods

black-dove (january) / tori amos

I heard a bird cry in Southern California this morning. through the wires, the synapses of technology, I listened to your world. I listened to you. I held you while you slept. my arms ached, protesting their emptiness, yearning to be curled around you. my body begged to be pressed tip to toe with yours.

you became even more of a human to me this morning. inside my head, between my ears, all the words slipped aside as I listened to this amazing man breathe, deep in sleep, wired to my brain, filling me with joy. I cried, my shoulders shaking happily.

my chest pounded and I closed my eyes. tried to match my breathing with his. felt words gonging in my throat, but I swallowed them back - too soon, too soon. my brain whispered them anyway. in endless refrains, my body sirened them to you, wave after wave, filling your sleeping form with my love.

these eyes, they can see my insides. they can see my soul.

it is at moments after i have dreamed
of the rare entertainment of your eyes,
when (being fool to fancy) i have deemed

with your peculiar mouth my heart made wise;
at moments when the glassy darkness holds

the genuine apparition of your smile
(it was through tears always)and silence moulds
such strangeness as was mine a little while;

moments when my once more illustrious arms
are filled with fascination, when my breast
wears the intolerant brightness of your charms:

one pierced moment whiter than the rest

-turning from the tremendous lie of sleep
i watch the roses of the day grow deep.

– e.e. cummings

here we are- this is all of us
larger than we seem to be
you are one of us
metal and cable and pixel and love
this is all of us
silicon blinking and buttons and knobs
this is all of us

escape yourself this moment
let us fill you in
as our arms are wide
and we only love you
with all of what we will be
you are part of this
let it take you in- we only love you

feel us- we’re under your lungs
you are one of us
feel us- we’re all through your bones
this is all of us
synthesized digital audio love
you are one of us
electronic subsonic gifts from above
this is all of us

you are one of us / halou

The Sonnets to Orpheus: X

You who are close to my heart always,
I welcome you, ancient coffins of stone,
which the cheerful water of Roman days
still flows through, like a wandering song.

Or those other ones that are open wide
like the eyes of a happily waking shepard
-with silence and bee-suck nettle inside,
from which ecstatic butterflies flittered;

everything that has been wrestled from doubt
I welcome-the mouths that burst open after
long knowledge of what it is to be mute.

Do we know this, my friends, or don’t we know this?
Both are formed by the hesitant hour
in the deep calm of the human face.

– Rainer Maria Rilke

I

your little voice
                         Over the wires came leaping
and i felt suddenly
dizzy
        With the jostling and shouting of merry flowers
wee skipping high-heeled flames
courtesied before my eyes
                                     or twinkling over to my side
Looked up
with impertinently exquisite faces
floating hands were laid upon me
I was whirled and tossed into delicious dancing
up
Up
with the pale important
                               stars and the Humorous
                                                              moon
dear girl
How i was crazy how i cried when i heard
                                                       over time
and tide and death
leaping
Sweetly
            your voice

– e.e. cummings

II

in the rain-
darkness, the sunset
being sheathed i sit and
think of you

the holy
city which is your face
your little cheeks the streets
of smiles

your eyes half-
thrush
half-angel and your drowsy
lips where float flowers of kiss

and
there is the sweet shy pirouette
your hair
and then

your dancesong
soul. rarely-beloved
a single star is
uttered, and i
think
of you

– e.e. cummings