dreamattack | a dialogue in pictures

Directions

There is a way of opening a walnut
so that the kernel plops in your hand
like a small, perfect brain,

and two ways of slicing an apple
so that you see a heart or a star
that no one else has ever seen,
and, if the knife is quick and sharp,
white pearls inside the brown husks of seeds.

There is a way of slicing an onion–
the squat red kind–that reveals arches
within arches, a labyrinth leading
to the pungent center of the earth.

There is a way of measuring a tree
that tilts time on its edge,

and a way of looking into the sky
so that you see the inside
of your own eye.

There is a way of speaking to a child
that opens a secret door
and treasure pours out.

There is a way of looking at a woman
that turns her into someone
you have never seen,

and a way of looking at a man that
turns him into someone you
have never seen.

There is a way of opening yourself
that feels like death–because it is–
with no hint of its ultimate surprise;
afterward you stand up, pulling your flesh
about you like new clothes.

There is a way of losing your mind
that is like waking from a feverish nap,

and a way of sitting in silence
so that what you love most
is drawn to your side,

and you have known all this
since before you were born.

One day, if you are lucky, someone
will look at you, turning you into
someone you have never been–
aware, suddenly, of informing marks
in the dust at your feet, your pockets
full of maps showing the way to
the next thing, intriguing clouds leading
beyond the edge of the world.

–Valerie Berry

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): There’s a connection between Al Qaeda and actor Kevin Bacon, according to Tatsuya Ishida at www.sinfest.net. Al Qaeda was trained by the CIA, he says, which was established by President Harry Truman, who dropped the atom bomb which was cooked up by the Manhattan Project, which was the name of a movie starring John Lithgow, who was in the film “Footloose” with Kevin Bacon. I invite you to make liberal use of this kind of logic in the coming days, Capricorn. The astrological omens say it will be healthy for you to let your imagination run away with you as long as you don’t take as gospel truth all the conclusions it leads you to. So please feel free to ramble down the fine line between creative storytelling and total BS.

Rob Brezsny’s Free Will Astrology

i do not have very much new information about kristi/closetmonsters. i was at the hospital this morning. the doctor was very frank, saying that there was nothing more they could do for her and that they were now focusing their energies on pain management. her pain is being controlled by the maximum dose (that she can handle) of morphine. she is not conscious, and her breathing has become labored. basically it is just a matter of time.

her husband and his brother smuggled one of her cats into her hospital room. we think she might have been aware that bianca the kitty was laying in the fold of her arm.

the doctors and nurses there are exemplary, and are taking very loving and compassionate care of her.

i hope you will join me in wishing her a peaceful end to her journey, and that her suffering will soon come to a close.

i will keep you all posted as news comes in.

thank you to everyone who has responded, both here and in email. i will get back to you all when i am able.

Christmas Wishes [25 Dec 2003|12:23pm]

Don’t throw them away. Don’t do as I have done.

from the livejournal of a most amazing creature, and my favorite little sister in spirit.

i am annoyed with internet places that are orgies of in-jokes and sucking each others cocks for a laugh or a vote. i feel like the spaz kid sitting at the retard lunch table again, and i don’t like it.

but then, i am cranky with everything and anything today.

fuckall.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Let’s discuss the differences between dumb, unproductive pain and smart, useful pain. The former is the kind you keep being drawn back to out of habit. It’s familiar, and therefore perversely comfortable. The latter is the kind of pain that surprises you with valuable teachings and inspires you to see the world with new eyes. While stupid pain is often born of fear, wise pain is stirred up by love. The dumb, unproductive stuff comes from allowing yourself to be controlled by your early conditioning and from doing things that are out of harmony with your essence. The smart, useful variety arises out of a willingness to live passionately and with a sense of adventure. Can you guess which type I’m urging you to gravitate toward right now, Capricorn?

Rob Brezsny’s Free Will Astrology

okay so maybe plague mass and malediction and prayer are bad choices at 3am in the morning. putting the diamanda galas away for the night and picking something more soothing … like merzbow. the kitties thank me.

we are the music-makers, and we are the dreamers of the dream.

so shines a good deed in a weary world.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “There will come a time when you believe everything is finished,” wrote novelist Louis L’Amour. “Yet that will be the beginning.” He could have been describing your life in the coming week, Capricorn. Just when you’re sure you’ve gone as far as you can go, worked as hard as you can work, and exhausted all the possibilities, you will find the secret to a sweet, fresh gamble that will awaken your most brilliant innocence.

Rob Brezsny’s Free Will Astrology

REVISIONARY INSTRUMENTS: 2

A bird I can’t see outside my window is chipping away at his morning routine and
mine.

And there are birds with lesser voices than his insisting on some distance, as
in a child’s drawing of telephone poles in which perspective is the lesson
learned and wondered at.

And although it is late August, the birch next door already drops its little
golden epaulets into our neighbor’s garden.

They have lost a child—a three-month foetus, absorbed into the woman’s body
like vermin under housewalls when the lights go on.

I am tired of the deaths of the body: of the cancer that eats my friend thin, of
the trout-arcing randomness and silence of it, its terrible unstillness.

–Kathy Fagan

If you have lost the business, your house, and wife, after you have been pronounced terminally ill and life has dealt you the worst blows, there is only one duty left. That is to crawl over to the nearest mirror, hoist yourself up, look deeply into it with your last breath, and say aloud seven times: Cock-a-doodle-doo!

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Of all the animals in the world, the fly is the most unloved. It annoys us with its zigzag buzzing. When it lands in our food, we lose our appetite, knowing it carries residues of the disgusting things it has preyed on. But in the creation story of the Chelan Indians, the fly is given a heroic role to play because of its speed. In modern parlance, people say they’d like to be a fly on the wall in a place where an interesting conversation takes place. And the ancient Roman poet Virgil had a pet fly that saved him a fortune. When the fly died, he gave it a large funeral and declared its final resting place a cemetery, thereby avoiding a sizable land tax through a legal loophole. In the coming weeks, Capricorn, I predict you will find similar redemption in an influence you have always regarded as comparable to the fly’s.

Rob Brezsny’s Free Will Astrology

found the remnants of this little fella clinging to a bush while on my way to the bus stop yesterday morning. carted him around all day in my bag, kept safe in a chocolate Vela-Mint tin. chitin is cool. so is metamorphosis. and transformation. I am shedding my skin, too.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You’ve probably heard tales about people who buy an old desk at a thrift store or a used jacket at a yard sale, then find a big stash of money in it when they get it home. You may also know the story of author Byron Katie, who was wallowing in depression on the floor of a halfway house when she had the epiphany that ultimately transformed her into a brilliant, rich, successful teacher. I believe your fate in the coming weeks will have elements of both of those motifs.

Rob Brezsny’s Free Will Astrology

Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us.

sitting at the medical library public terminals, killing time between tests and doctor. I have decided that they need a napping lab. not enough places to nap in this country.

I had a bad coffee, but I’m still craving the sonic slush with NEW Sour Additive™ - I cannot decide whether sour cherry or sour watermelon tastes best in my head.

speaking of my head, it’s still there, and so am I.

it’s (still barely) the first of the month, and you know that that means …

July’s search keyphrases:

keith althus
cotton mouth snake pics
silence will be falling into that silence§
pink and brain
chelsea burns lyrics
gorilla attack at lincoln park zoo july 5 2005
frontal brain tumors photos
joseph mayo wristen
cartoon grandmother photos
alt
the most perfect silence is…
monotone in life
even then
insane storms
you are my everything
rajkamal kahlon
nude highway driving
dj c.ellis
photos of sadness
so many little things followed me
keith althus poem
anne sexton self in 1958 what happened
what’s my lesson happy birthday
luna moth in mythology
fuck the crickets
wristen
eternity love
pictures of the fattest black men in the world
how the eyes blinking
witty comments
the solitude of the soul taft
the most perfect silence is when there’s no need to speak the most perfect silence is when there’s no need to explain
head doctor hole in skull
feathered heart tattoo
lord knows it would be the first time
minky boodle blog
love eternity
candy screen wrappers of silkscreen fantastic
gynefication
fuck for earth
jim carrey disinformation
stop bleeding chest in birds
drawings of ravens
cat fighting
mortal work of art
i am not afraid
venemous toy snakes
desperate music
legendary pink dots till the end of time
carotid artery and eyes
marie malvar
little tear-vase
anatomy hymen picture
fuck a librarian
the wrong house comic sex
blackbirds in mythology
loredo taft
e.e. cummings and one winter afternoon
glad you found me
satan’s cock
freckle on cat’s nose
sadness drawings
luna moth mythology
little red riding hood lyrics
gay piss art
loredo taft solitude of the soul
i magnin clothing anne sexton
give me novacaine - green day
chelsea burns